


Look What You Made Me Do

by kirogaraii



Series: A Bitter Sweet World : ShuuKazu [13]
Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Bitter Exes, Developing Friendships, Gen, M/M, Other, Slice of Life, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirogaraii/pseuds/kirogaraii
Summary: Sometimes Hitori has to put his foot down and interrogate Kazuaki about his habits. Unfortunately, he picks a very bad time to do that.
Relationships: Iwamine Shuu/Nanaki Kazuaki (Original), Nanaki Kazuaki/Uzune Hitori
Series: A Bitter Sweet World : ShuuKazu [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623460
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Look What You Made Me Do

The air was cool as evening and night set. A faint warmth was still leftover from daytime, which clung to the concrete and buildings. A dry atmosphere which by many could be deemed perfect. Blue and lilac bled through the vastly sky, until eventually darkening, ever so slowly, and ending on an ink blue color.

It’s Tanabata, the evening of the seventh.

A dense array of bamboos stood in the middle of Littledove Hachiman City’s plaza. At this time of the night, a fair portion of it has already been covered—branches cluttered with strips of paper, like little layered rainbow ribbons. It could not scream ‘festival’ any more than that, and apparently, it was only the beginning.

A pale pair of hands held another addition, a red paper strip, for a good minute. It was analyzed, but above all held with some amount of hesitation. Out of all the ways one could spend an evening, was this truly the way to do it? Was this the best way to do it efficiently? Would this be really worth it?

It’s a harmless gesture. And any minute spent outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, is better than spent indoors, he reckoned.

A pair of pale hands tied the paper slip to one of the branches.

_ Just who will be granting my wish, and how? _

_ — Iwamine Shuu _

is what the paper read. In many scenarios, he would deem something like this as  _ pitiful _ . Asking a rhetorical question to a rhetorical force, or deity. What is the purpose of these festivals that this culture treasures so deeply? It touches a psychological part of everyone’s minds that he mostly doesn’t care about… Doesn’t understand.

Well, he didn’t lose anything, and it’s questionable whether he will gain anything from this action, so why care about it at all? Sometimes turning his brain off has its benefits as well. Only sometimes.

The bamboo tree was grey. That is, all the straps were grey, aside from the subtly pink ones and glistening red ones. This is the reality that Iwamine Shuu perceived. He breathed in, and exhaled in a prolonged sigh.

Time go home, he guessed.

But then he heard a pair of footsteps, approaching him from behind. Many birds went by this and the other way, so he did not register this as anything worth putting his guard up. Until a head from a tall somebody peered from behind him and over his shoulder, which, pardon the irony, immediately ran a shiver down the doctor’s spine.

“Doctor Iwamine~?”

“…!”

What a familiar voice. It’s the professor, it’s the quail. Shuu felt rather taken aback by how close the others head was to his—what is this guy thinking?

“Oh, Nanaki. It’s you.” responded Shuu in a semi-whisper, then cleared his throat, “Yes, can I… help you?”

“…O-Oh!” It seemed Kazuaki was walking around with his head in the clouds. He only became conscious of the extremely close distance between their ears when he noticed Shuu’s awkward tone of voice, “S-Sorry! Sorry sorry!” he immediately jumped back a foot and gestured with his hands apologetically, “Oh gosh, I didn’t mean to… I was listening to music and got too cou… courageous and energetic in my feet!!” Kazuaki quickly removed his earbuds, tucking them messily into a pocket of his jacket. “Sorry!”

“…It’s fine, I suppose.”

“I was just going around the bamboo after hanging my wish and I spotted you here, s-so my peanut brain thought ‘ _ hoo~? _ Iwamine-kun hanging a Tanabata wish? I wonder what it says!’ and I just immediately walked in from behind you to read it!” he over explained in his usual, frantic Kazuaki manner.

“…I see.”

Shuu was a little embarrassed about that. About having  _ this guy _ know what his wish says… But wait, why would he be embarrassed? He wrote his name on the slip, it’s contents are open to the public. The availability is what makes this festival so special, right? Well, no matter what, in the dim street lamp light, Shuu’s stupefied expression was pretty clear. And Kazuaki was also observant enough to realize that.

He was still for a second, before flashing an honest smile at the doctor, “Don’t worry, Iwamine. I don’t judge you for your wish. M-Mine is far more worthy of being embarrassing…”

“…What did you wish for? If you don’t mind me asking.”

_ May I become more emotionally strong, _

_ may my work be good and inspirational _

_ to others, _

_ and may I beat Fatalis in Monster Hunter! ☆ _

_ — Nanaki Kazuaki _

“…Who is Fatalis?”

“A black dragon!!”

“Oh, how rare. Do make sure to bring me it’s corpse when you do it, I’d love to dissect such a rare sample.”

“It’s not a real dragon… I-It’s a video game, doctor~!”

“Ah… How disappointing. Very, very disappointing.”

Kazuaki chuckled, and Shuu gave a teasing smirk, tucking his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“…So…Are you gonna go anywhere now?”

“‘Go’?”

“I mean, are you heading home now, or do you have something planned…?”

“…I would head home about now, yes. I’ve got nothing more to do out here.”

“Oh,” Still smiling and with an unusual amount of hope, which may have indeed been the effect of listening to spunky music, Kazuaki pointed at the street behind them, “Could we go to the train station together? Can I lead you there?”

Shuu didn’t foresee this series of events, but didn’t immediately have anything against it. “I suppose… why not.”

The partridge and the quail walked side by side. The train station wasn’t too far, just a street or two away. Both of them live some distance away from St. Pigeonation’s, with Shuu having less distance to conquer every day. Their apartments were in pretty much opposite directions though, so Shuu assumed that they’d part ways once his train arrives, and he’ll come home all alone, just like the usual routine.

“…What kind of music have you been listening to, that made you act so thoughtlessly just now?” asked Shuu out of nowhere.

“Um… Well… It was… Pop music…” admitted Kazuaki, a little flustered. He turned his eyes to the doctor, “Would you like to listen?!” He took one of his earbuds from the pocket. Shuu looked at it with no clear expression on his face. The idea didn’t make him recoil… So why not. “If it’s only for a few seconds.”

He wiped the earbud with a finger before sticking it in his ear. Kazuaki put the other one in his own as well, and pressed play on his phone. He made sure to lower the volume.

What came out was a relatively gentle but fun melody. Shuu expected to be blasted with some kind of upbeat, electronic jargon with obnoxiously high pitched vocals, but this was almost pleasant. Some piano, some flutes. He didn’t take out his earbud after a few seconds, which made Kazuaki happy.

“This isn’t the song I was listening to before I met you here, but… it’s also the type of music that makes me a bit happy. Maybe that’s an overstatement, um, it’s pleasant.” He explained. “What kind of music do  _ you _ listen to~?”

“Me?” Shuu had to think for a moment. “…I don’t know if I really enjoy music. Loud clashing sounds and fast paced lyrics usually make my head hurt. …Sometimes when I’m working, I listen to ambient background noise.”

“Ambient? You mean things like raining water?”

“Yes… Like birds chirping.” Shuu looked up at the tree crown above them, “Or the whooshing of wind and trees.”

Kazuaki tried to imagine that, and it felt like an incredibly sad image. “I thought you hate sound. That you love silence and to work in silence.”

“…No.” his eyes scanned the decorations surrounding them, origami hanging on tree branches and in the windows of closed shops. Somehow, talking to another person felt incredibly easy tonight.

“…I don’t love silence. It’s preferred when I’m deep in thought, but ‘love’ is too strong of a word for it. I simply prefer to stay at a safe distance from sound, and birds… But complete silence is what turns people mad.”

Kazuaki opened his mouth to answer, only to be overpowered by a car, dashing right by them with an engine so loud that it made hair stand on  _ both _ of their heads. What an ironic thing to happen. Both Kazuaki and Shuu stood there with wide eyes for a second.

“S-Scary…”

“To race in the middle of the city at night. What an idiot.” muttered Shuu.

While their eyes were directed at the road, Kazuaki spotted two people on the other side of the street. One taller, one shorter, that’s…

“Hitori and Nageki?! It’s them!” Kazuaki asked out loud, then lit up, stretching out an arm to wave, “H-Hitori! Hey!!”

The two figures turned their gaze to Kazuaki and Shuu. It was Hitori and Nageki indeed, but for the life of him, Shuu couldn’t recognize their faces until they were in the middle of the street.

“Good evening. Wow, I didn’t expect to see you here today.” Hitori greeted them politely, smiling for courtesy.

“Good evening.” Nageki greeted them as well. The chances of him smiling for a greeting were close to none either way, but there was a medical mask over his mouth.

“…Is something the matter with Fujishiro-kun?” Asked Shuu. One way to greet somebody.

“Hitori makes me put on a mask everywhere I go.” Nageki explained, “Especially if we go to the grocery store. With people in them.”

“Y-You make me sound unreasonable…” Hitori frowned a little. “We were also hanging wishes for Tanabata. Do you have any idea how many germs there are, on every square inch of the place?”

“…I understand, of course I do…” it seemed Nageki didn’t want to continue the topic, and looked down at the ground below them instead.

“You were at the plaza? What did you guys wish for?” Kazuaki asked enthusiastically.

_ May my sleep attacks become less prominent, _

_ may we meet ends, and good fortune, _

_ and may Nageki stay healthy this year, please. _

_ — Uzune Hitori _

“Oh, how classic…! What did you wish for, Nageki?”

Nageki shrugged, “Nothing.”

“ _ Ehhhh? _ ”

“Nageki doesn’t make Tanabata wishes, because he’s a big boy now.” Elaborated Hitori with a gleeful smile.

Kazuaki was still a little hurt, “M-Making wishes is childish…?”

“…I don’t think that everyone who does them is childish, but I prefer to work for my goals, instead of wishing upon a star for them.” Nageki’s serious monotone matched Shuu seamlessly, but it made even the doctor raise a brow. He remained silent though.

“And what did you wish for, Kazuaki?” Hitori asked.

“Oh, ehehe…” Kazuaki stuck out his tongue, “Well, I want to beat this boss in a video game…”

Hitori’s expression suddenly turned cold. Or maybe just disappointed. Wrinkling his forehead, he said, “Mhm… Of course. Of course that’s something you’d wish for.”

Kazuaki became nervous, “W-What? Is it wrong? Is it a bad wish?”

“Well, no. But you could yearn for something more important. Like building up emotional strength, being less codependent, or success in the  _ real _ world.”

“I, I wished for those things too!!”

“Sure…”

Hitori smoothly changed the topic, gesturing at the train station in the distance. “Ah, we were heading for the train just now. Were you two going there too? We could go together.”

“Alright.” Shuu consented honorably.

“…Alright.” And Kazuaki too.

And then there were four.

Two quails, a partridge, and a mourning dove. The street was wide and empty enough for them to walk all together. Somewhere along the way, Kazuaki and Hitori turned out to be directly side by side, with Shuu and Nageki on the farthest edges.

“…It’s been a while since we’ve been like this. The four of us together.” Hitori initiated a conversation.

“Yes.” Shuu was not very talkative, even with these three birds that he’s known for a long time.

It was difficult to say, whether they are all friends, or if they are four acquaintances held together by unusual memories. What could be considered a friend, truly? Hitori wasn’t sure if a friend can be simply someone you can talk with, or if a friend is someone you’d jump into a fire for. How much do birds need to have in common in order to acknowledge themselves as friends?

He glanced briefly at the side profile of Shuu on the far right of him, and pondered about it for a moment. Shuu is, by all means, difficult to deal with. But at the same time, Shuu was someone that witnessed what was perhaps the biggest downfall in Hitori’s life. He was there to witness it, and help with it. More than once, even, there are some things that they know about each other that not even Kazuaki is aware of. Not even Nageki.

_ Kazuaki… _ Hitori’s eyes wandered upwards to see his face. It was closer. And more familiar. Somehow, Hitori couldn’t help but feel more alienated by Kazuaki than by Shuu at this point.

Suddenly, Kazuaki’s lips moved just when Hitori was looking at him.

“We used to hang out quite a lot just a few months ago…” the blond sighed woefully.

“More like a few years ago.” Hitori corrected.

“Nageki doesn’t even know that, does he~?”

Nageki murmured in response, “I suppose I don’t know the details of you guys’ relationship. I don’t know if you remember, but I was in a coma.”

“Uwa! Sorry!”

“Hmm…” Shuu spoke up, “Yes. Although, I don’t recall having meetups with the both of you at the same time. Really, it was only Uzune who I’ve regularly met up with.”

“Right, right… But we did eat dinner together, didn’t we?” Hitori seemed almost wistful when he looked up at the sky to remember that, “I can’t deny that I kind of miss it. Maybe we could do that again? Eat dinner all together.”

“I wouldn’t have anything against that.” Nageki’s response made Hitori smile.

“My schedule is booked.” Shuu’s response made Hitori frown, and raise an eyebrow in annoyance.

“Really? For the rest of the year?  _ Every _ day?”

“…I suppose the majority of next month is still free.” Shuu put a finger to his chin, “But I intend to completely disappear off everyone’s radars as soon as summer break starts.”

“Good! But, wait, what? Why?” asked Hitori.

“The school will finally be empty, mostly. Aside from some stray students and the other teachers. It’ll be the perfect time to start and finish some experiments that I’ve had to put off because I keep getting interrupted.”

“…Actually, Iwamine,” Kazuaki suddenly lit up to ask in an intimate voice, “I’ve been wondering for a long time now. If you are so bothered by having to treat and tend to students in a high school, then why are you working here? Wouldn’t you prefer to work at a lab where you’re all alone?”

Shuu fell silent, and Hitori seemed to answer in his stead. “I-Iwamine has worked in an isolated laboratory for god knows how many years, and I was only there to witness the last six of them. It is a definite improvement for him to live in a workplace with… changing scenery. Right?”

“………Yes. Maybe so.” Shuu accepted that as an excuse, with some reluctance. “That’s not the whole reason, but… Additionally, it’s not that I hate my job or anything even close to it. Being a doctor is my calling.”

His voice became serious and determined. A strange rush of passion slipping through his usual monotone.

“I made a promise, and I intend on keeping it. Even if I continue to do pathology work and sometimes fly away into other countries for work, I will always return to St. Pigeonation’s. This place is dear to me. Maybe more than I… than I give it credit for… Even if the last year of developing Nageki’s cure did not take place in the St. Pigeonation’s Health Center, I think I fell in a twisted kind of love with this building.”

Kazuaki, Hitori, and Nageki all eyed Shuu with different amounts of surprise on their faces. Partially because that is the most expressive thing that came out of the doctor’s mouth in the last 5 minutes, but also because it wasn’t the answer they really expected.

Kazuaki’s expression quickly smoothed out into a more romantic look when he realized that Shuu just said something that was rather precious, and he was happy that he got to hear it.

Hitori on the other hand felt a little weirded out. “…Well, that makes the two of us who work here for personal reasons.” he mumbled solemn.

Silence fell upon the group, but then, was broken by Kazuaki, “Wait… What did you say, Hitori? What are you implying?”

Hitori looked up at the taller man. “Well,” a tinge of condescension showed through him, “you’re not exactly passionate about this school, are you? That’s the assumption I had, given your constant whining in the staff room, slacking off, and… working less hours than pretty much everyone else.” He shrugged, “I assume that  _ you’re _ the one who would prefer to work elsewhere, but can’t gather the courage to change something about your lifestyle.  _ For once. _ ”

Kazuaki felt a cold shiver run up his spine, and his arms twitched. “What are you…” he frowned, “Y-You’re being mean…”

“Am I wrong?”

“Yes…!” the words left Kazuaki’s mouth only to leave him speechless afterwards. A quick, empty defense. “I…It’s not my fault…”

“Not your fault that you do the bare minimum and are paid just about as much as me? Or is it not your fault that you’re doing the bare minimum in the first place?”

Shuu and Nageki leaned forward and exchanged equally uncomfortable facial expressions to each other, as the two ex-lovers between them seemed to quickly spiral into something heated. How awkward.

“You have a bad attitude Kazuaki. That’s your biggest problem. If you would just put on a fake smile in the workplace, it’d make everyone less strained to work around you.” Hitori began to speed up, “And you’re unreliable. Desk cluttered, losing keys, forgetting to relay important news to your students… It impacts your own reputation. But not just your own, your students will suffer from it, and to an extent your co-workers as well. That’s all I’m saying.”

Kazuaki stopped. He stood still. And Hitori, and everyone else stopped as well. They bored eyes into one another. The strangest thing of all is that rather than fear and introversion, Kazuaki seemed to boil on the inside. He shivered, and stuttered, but his brows were furrowed.

“I’m doing… my best.” he stammered lowly, “You know that… You know that I am like this. I’m not as strong, or as relaxed in social situations, or as plain  _ perfect _ as you, yes. But I don’t understand why, why… why are you saying all of this right now?”

“…Maybe under the pressure of having Iwamine right next to you, you’d listen to my constructive criticism and not just brush it aside, to continue to live half-assedly and blame the world for your problems.”

Hitori crossed his arms, looking like someone confident in his words, and someone who knows they’re perfectly correct.

“H-Have you ever considered that your criticism is completely uncalled for? You sound like you want me to… disappear off the face of earth completely, because I annoy you.”

“No…” Hitori ran a hand through his dark hair, “I don’t mean to sound like that.”

“You weren’t always like this… You only… You only became ruthless recently… You used to be so gentle and understanding to me…”

“Are we going to have this conversation for the second time? Do you ever listen to what I say?”

“Do YOU ever listen to what  _ I _ say?!”

Kazuaki raised his voice, balling his hands into fists by his sides. “N-No, no you don’t! You’re just passive aggressive all the time and then tell me I’m sensitive! You…!”

He felt Shuu’s gaze on himself, and Nageki’s too. Suddenly, Kazuaki, who was in the middle of the group, felt completely bare and singled out. Vulnerable.

The eyes bore into him, judgmentally. And without a doubt they were all thinking about how much of a failure Kazuaki really is. How childish and impulsive, and careless.

“You just don’t get it! I don’t know how to explain to you that I wish I could be different so much, and I don’t do this because I want to, and because I’m lazy, but because… There is some blockade in my brain! It appeared in high school and never left!!!”

As heat rose to Kazuaki’s eyes, he realized he was going to cry, and his head immediately turned down in shame.

“You’re just a bully… You’re a bully like everyone else, in that damned high school… And in this high school. You bully me like my own students bully me too. You’re such an… you’re an asshole, Hitori…!”

Hitori bit his lip. Nobody was able to guess what was going through the quail’s head. Not even if he was satisfied with the outcome or not. That seriousness never left his face.

“Hitori…” Nageki’s gentle hand tapped him hesitantly, but Hitori took a step away, and closer to Kazuaki.

“Why do you think I act like this? What reason? Because I’m a ‘bully’? I enjoy picking on the weak and misunderstood? God…” he shook his head, “You, are so terrible at reading people, Kazuaki.”

“I don’t know if that’s right, but that’s the impression I get! That’s what I hear when you talk to me! It doesn’t matter what your goal is, if all you’re doing is hitting me in the face!”

“Kazuaki, you’re acting as if I am wrong for acting like this. But I was patient and forgiving to you for four years. Every time you said that you’re doing your best and that you’ll change, those were empty words. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. If you did, you would’ve gone to a therapist or something. Instead of wallowing in depression and dragging me down with you. After years of knowing you, I have finally put my foot down and told you how much stress you’ve subjected me to, and decided to get a little firmer.

So suddenly, the moment I stopped loving you unconditionally, I’ve turned, from the most ideal man in your life, to… a bully, huh.”

Kazuaki recognized disgust in Hitori’s eyes.

“Grow up.”

He took a step to the right, sniffled, and wiped one of his eyes with a sleeve. Kazuaki sobbed once more, refusing to look up at anyone anymore. Purely ashamed and frustrated, Kazuaki ran away in the direction of the train station. His silhouette disappeared in the darkness, only flashing by in the distance under a streetlight far away.

The birds left behind stared into that distance, slowly turning their eyes onto Hitori. They didn’t say a word. But, his hard demeanor crumbled a little. He looked a little bit sad.

Nageki had no way of knowing the full story, or being able to judge whether Hitori did go overboard or not, but seeing the outcome of his scolding, he seemed disappointed in his big brother.

He suddenly noticed that Shuu was gone as well. When did he leave?

“…Let’s go.” Hitori slowly threaded forward, Nageki following, but not stopping to glare at the other’s face. “Let’s make sure to get to the train on time. Otherwise we’ll be sitting there for thirty minutes.”

“You messed up.” said Nageki bluntly.

“…Yes.”

The air was cool as evening and night set, a faint warmth still leftover from the daytime, which clung to the concrete and buildings. Tanabata wishes danced ever so slightly in a strong, but bygone wind.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey~ thank you for reading!
> 
> Things will get spicy in the next one, I’ll say that much.


End file.
